GAH! I'm landing home from work most evenings and plopping softly on the sofa. And that's it, game over for the next few hours. I'll end up watching telly instead of doing any remotely worth while like cooking or reading a decent book. Shite times. Not that telly's that bad. There's Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall (so I can cook vicariously) and the compelling Dragon's Den (boggle as dead-eyed rich bastards sneer at petrified and vaguely tragic English people who've invested the kid's university funds into weird things with no use). But with telly comes ads. I hate ads. Actually no I hate annoying people in ads. They come on like an entire army made out of clones of the embarrassing plank from the office who always tells you he's maaaadd! Once I started noticing them I couldn't stop. Its fuckin awful. I'm starting to obsess. So bad that my flatmate and I have a constantly changing list of the top five most hateful fuckers in ads. At first it was fairly static, with Mickey Head and Shoulders, the rapping fruit pastilles kid and those toxic hen-party rejects from Sheila's Wheels hogging the top spots. But then as the obsession kicked in we started noticing the minor characters from ads and the list has become an endless revolving door system of absolute cretins. Peripheral fuckers that appear for but a fleeting second in an ad, yet end up ruining your whole night. There's "I'm not bald just streamlined baby!" from the diet coke ad, the "what a feeling" traffic cop/ mime artist hybrid in the gaviscon ad and the gurning bellhop in the Heineken memory hotel. The whole ad thing has gotten so ridiculous we've started having morbid murderous fantasies about a creature made out of felt...this guy
Oh the many ways I could kill that jiggling little puppety fuck!
Our current number one, the most hateful, decrepit creature to ever haunt an ad...the excited nordie hag queuing for the bank in the Northern Irish Bank Ad... "A HUNDRED AND FIFTEE EURO!!! DEY'RE GIVIN' AWAY A HUNDRED AND FIFTEE EURO!!!" She's the sort of dessicated 'oul weapon that would kill a child to get near a two for one offer on argyle socks in Frawleys. And as for that 150 euro, you just know she's gonna withdraw it the next day and stuff it in the mattress to absorb pee until she dies of misery in her freezing hovel.
Now, on a completely unrelated note...an MP3. One of the most goose-pimply moments I've had at a gig this year was when Jason Pierce sang this cover version of Daniel Johnson's most well known song at the electric picnic. In retrospect it was as if the debauched fog of the weekend cleared for a few perfectly remembered minutes shot through with some sort of gentle magic. This recording is from the american leg of the current tour.
haha! you forgot the new mcdonalds ad and coors light ad with the ridiculous man voicing over the women. and the poker ads "No books, No Dvds". Northern Irish Shopping Centre Ads. UTV in general....ugh. I want that channel BANNED!!! so depressing!
yeah, we could do this all night hahaha. That Carlsberg as is a humdinger alright. As for UTV...Lo there is an old blog knocking about somewhere that ciaran wrote about UTV. Its fuckin gas. I'll try find it.
3 comments:
haha! you forgot the new mcdonalds ad and coors light ad with the ridiculous man voicing over the women. and the poker ads "No books, No Dvds". Northern Irish Shopping Centre Ads.
UTV in general....ugh. I want that channel BANNED!!! so depressing!
what about the full 10 piece set of cunts in the carlsberg 'fake american accent' ad?
yeah, we could do this all night hahaha. That Carlsberg as is a humdinger alright. As for UTV...Lo there is an old blog knocking about somewhere that ciaran wrote about UTV. Its fuckin gas. I'll try find it.
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