Soup for posh people...and an MP3

Yikes, we're all hurtling into a recession. So before we all sign on the dole, grow 1983 bono-mullets, and stock up on homestead beans, lets wave goodbye to the Celtic Tiger with a gullet full of posh soup. This is a recipe for celeriac velouté with celeriac crisps. I prepared it on Saturday as part of a poncey five course meal where my flatmate and I attempted to impress some former college pals. Its very intense, so its best served up in little cups as opposed to bowls. It's more suitable for a meal where you try to get someone into the sack through the magic of showing off, as opposed to just warm yerself up on a cold day. Oh, a quick warning if you are attempting to use this soup as part of a sophisticated seduction. Don't let your prospective breakfast companion see the celeriac itself. Its a nobbly, grotesque sort of a veggie thats not unlike Darth Vadar's dying head at the end of Return of the Jedi. Or Sean Ryder's head for that matter.
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It tastes great though!

Celeriac Velouté: Ingredients

(Velouté)
400grams of peeled Celeriac (about half of an average sized one), diced into very small cubes.
50grams of shallots, finely diced
750ml double chicken stock (this is 1.5 litres normally concentrated stock reduced to half by hard boiling-if not fresh, please use liquid stock for this, Just Bouillion or even Tesco Finest)
30grams of butter
40ml olive oil
3 tablespoons cream
Snipped chives

(Crisps)
A good few fine slices of celeriac (use the slice bit on a cheese grater to do this)
Enough groundnut oil to fill a wok to about an inch depth

(Optional Extras)
Dried chantrelle mushrooms to put at the bottom of each cup for the ultimate pretentious flourish

Recipe:
In a small saucepan sweat the shallots in the olive oil and butter until they go see through. Then add the celeriac cubes and keep it going at a medium heat until they soften too. It will seem very oily at this stage, but that is key to the richness of the recipe. Then add the double chicken stock (boiling hot) to the saucepan and simmer for 10 minutes. Liquidise the whole lot until it has a pure smooth consistency (oh yes). It should be like silk. Keep piping hot.
In the meantime heat your wok oil until its hot enough to brown a small cube of stale bread in 15 seconds.
Once thats done, throw in two or three of the fine slices of celeriac at a time and fry until evenly crisp. Remove them and throw onto some kitchen paper. Allow two crisps for each cup of velouté.
Now to serve, stir the cream into the saucepan of velouté and pour it out into the individual cups. Sprinkle each with a few chive snips and place a crisp or two artfully on top. Congrats because now you have made some really fancy shit worthy of Gordon Ramsay you ponce!

Finally, that promised MP3. This is after all a music blog. Its a song from Times New Viking who are getting mega-hyped on the back of their ace new album 'rip it off', a gloriously unholy fuzz-racket that sounds like it was recorded in an hour through a mike hooked up to this speaker...



MP3: Times New VikingTeenage Lust

Hip-hip-hooray kids 'cos the spirit of Guided By Voices lives on! The MP3 I've posted is a bit of a lo-fi anthem from their previous record 'present the paisley reich,' which is also totally ace. I've a feeling, however, that your appetite for this sort of stuff depends on how much insane fuzz your eardrums can cope with. I've an insatiable appetite for it.