Necessity-the mother of egg fried couscous

In one of the more deluded episodes of my young life, I once convinced myself I invented the coke float. I was about senior infants age, and tucking into an ice-cream after the usual glorious feed of shite our parents let us eat after the Friday visit to Navan shopping centre. Giddy and high as a kite on nutrition free junk, I went mad and tipped a load of Cadet cola into my ice cream. The rest was fizzy, creamy history, until Monday morning anyway. My teacher burst my balloon in humiliating fashion by telling me to shut my excited trap and informing the whole class that the super new dessert I wouldn't shut up about had already been invented. Tough news. At that stage, I was seriously planning to market the stuff in containers with a photo of my grinning face on the front. I coulda been someone, I coulda been a contender.


Miss look what I invented!! I'll never need to sit a shitty spelling test again.

Tonight, I'm going to cagily put it out there that I've invented something new and food related. I was starving and there was fuck all food in the house. This was because two weeks ago I impulse bought a pair of expensive headphones. I knew that before payday I'd be a famished skeletal wreck, but on the plus side I'd tripping out on hunger hallucinations for free and listening to Brian Eno MP3s in crystal clarity. So here it is, ahem, drumroll please... egg-fried couscous. Lighter than egg-fried rice, more exotic than an omelette and easier to make than a poop after a night in Whelans. Now it wasn't just couscous and egg. I also found a shallot, some chilli and a clove of garlic, and piles of salt and pepper. Like the ice-cream float, the rest was history. I'm dead proud of myself. Please don't tell me its already invented. 'Cos to do that would be to punch my inner 7 year old in the head. So yeah, if you're gonna tell me egg-fried couscous has already been invented, congrats, you just punched a kid in the face.

Since getting the new headphones I've been listening to really expansive noisy stuff. Its amazing how new it all sounds, and hermetically sealed too; none of the nasty outside world leaking in. The downside is that I've been bumping into things and walking out in front of buses. Here's something insanely expansive and noisy from a band that once drove a JCB through a stage.

MP3: Boredoms-Star