When the warm irons nuzzled my ear I have to admit I felt a bit encroached upon, a bit violated. I wanted to pipe up and object - "keep that fucking thing away from me buddy. DO I look like Duncan from Blue?"
Except I didn't, of course. I'm a sap. I just sort of tensed up and got sweaty. I glanced over my shoulder trying to scope out whether the GHD treatment was par for the course in the establishment in question. I dunno if it was or not, but by then the steam was already rising off my poker straight bangs so I kept schtum. I ran with it and soon found myself relaxing into the asymmetrically sweet 'look' the barber was working.
Throughout the haircut, Iron Maiden's 'Run to the Hills' was playing over the barbershop stereo. Coupled with some laddish background banter about Millwall and West Ham fans beating the shite out of each other, this lulled me into thinking the barber was following normal blokey protocol.
Sadly, he probably was. I ended up looking blokey alright - blokey like one of those thirtysomething Liam-Gallagher-a-like potential rapists who lurk in the spongey shadows of the Whelans' smoking area.
Ever since I got my new 'Do, vile tabloid rumours have linked me to both Jordan and Effie from Skins
Later, when I caught sight of my watery reflection in the window of Q Bar I felt sick. I flitted home to Kells like a creature of the night and I will spend most of tomorrow frotting my head up and down against an old couch to make it look normal again.
Music
I have a funny feeling the New Fuck Buttons album will be immense. Maybe as immense and awesome as the futuristic obelisk in 2001: A Space Odyssey? 'Sweet love for planet earth' was my favourite song last year, and I think Fuck Buttons will destroy all and sundry this year too. Their new tune, surf solar, is just monstrous. Monstrous. If the forthcoming album holds the line and follows suit, it will be unreal. I can only find this youtube version of said track at the moment, but it should be enough to give you the idea.
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