Sugarweasel

Tweet And now: something terrifying brought to my attention by my twitter-friend Catherine (isn't it fun that we can have friends, well, acquaintances, that we know exclusively through twitter?). Catherine alerted me to a character called Sugarweasel. Sugarweasel (I'm going to say his name a lot) provides an erotic clown escort service for ladies in the "Las Vegas region". Sure, where else would he do it?

Sugarweasel's Myspace (but of course, he's on myspace) lists "women either diagnosed with or who feel they may have coulrophillia" as people he would like to meet.

If you are terrified of clowns do not click on this link. Or this one. Now although I can think of one or two things scarier than Sugarweasel, at this moment I'm drawing blanks trying to think of anything weirder than Sugarweasel. Perhaps this?

Sugarweasel's homepage plays his theme tune, a smutty rockabilly mutation of pop goes the weasel - sample lyric: "there's a man who knows how to please/ berpy derpy derp berp derp/ big red nose and hung to his knees/ berpy derpy derp berp derp". Last night found me in a state of passive fascination/dread, clicking through all this Sugarweasel stuff while his theme tune looped hypnotically in an open tab, as I found out factoids about services rendered such as "clown dominating woman or woman dominating clown", and, as Catherine pointed out, the vaguely sinister "buffoonery". I can't say I slept well.

Have you had enough Sugarweasel yet? And by 'enough' what really I mean is have you whispered "Mammy" through slotted fingers while soiling yourself? No? OK, well he made this do it yourself murder mystery thing where he wraps a woman's body in a bin bag and throws it into a dump. Oh no, but I insist, you really should watch it...

At this stage, all I can say is "Vintage stuff Sugarweasel. It's really in keeping with what we've already gleamed from your Myspace and Linked-in profiles. But please. PLEASE. I BEG OF YOU. NO MORE".